What Words Can Express
by MarieTheManiac
Summary: Five short stories for Simone Robinson's challenge "10 Days 5 Stories!". Five prompts, five associations.
1. Not more than a Paper Cut

Prompt: Paper Cut

* * *

It was supposed to be a normal training run, like they did every night. They were frisky, not too serious about it all, even Leonardo was laughing. They were chasing each other over the rooftops, challenging each other with risky stunts over the chasms of the buildings. After such a long time Donatello was able to laugh again, have fun with his brothers, without being guard-dogged all the time. After he was cured from his secondary mutation neither his brothers nor his father allowed Donatello to do anything on his own. They treated him like a little child, not able to consider its actions, in need of protection. They crushed him with their protectiveness, took him the air to breathe, made him feel unworthy and useless.

But that was over now. Bishop's outbreak was over, he had recovered weeks ago and finally his brothers seemed to have gained enough trust for his ability to take care of himself. Donatello was so relieved, he swung his bo around, accidentally hitting Michelangelo on the head but none of them minded, no, they laughed even louder, Mikey smacking the back of Don's head, laughing the loudest.

But then the Foot came.

They were not many of them but enough to make Leo go into Fearless Leader mode. He screamed orders, admonished Raphael not to act rashly. Don lifted his bo in defense, glancing at Mikey who was standing next to him, swinging his nunchucks. Mikey's gaze was dark, he did not seem to anticipate the fight as usual, there was no childish grin on his face, no spark in his eyes. Then they attacked and Donatello noticed.

Something was different. Different in the way they fought. Donatello noticed when Raphael did not bash the ninja's head who was nearest to him, no, he attacked the one…nearest to Donatello.

It was a small action. Barely noticeable, easily overlooked. Not of importance. But to Donatello it meant everything.

It continued like that. It did not matter that Leonardo was surrounded by four Foot ninja at once. It did not matter that Michelangelo was not watching his back. It did not matter that Raphael was making too much noise. All they did…was look at Donatello. While they were fighting. And what he saw in their eyes was nothing and everything at the same time.

They were not simply worried. Donatello would have understood that, of course he would have, after all that had happened. But when he saw the look in his brothers' eyes, everything he had felt for the past few weeks crashed down on him, all at once, piercing his soul.

They did not believe in him. They did not believe he could take down at least one ninja. Everything he had worked for all those years, trying to keep up with his brothers, who were much better fighters than he was, oh, but he had tried, he had tried his best and he thought that he had succeeded.

One single incident. One single time where he did not put enough attention to his surroundings. One gash on his leg, not even deep enough to draw blood, more like a paper cut. One hardly notices the sting.

This gash…this paper cut…wrecked all he had done in over fifteen years.

He did not realize that he had dropped his bo. He did not realize that he had fallen to his knees. He did not realize that he was screaming. Screaming out his pain, his desperation, his soul.

He did not realize the sword sinking into his plastron, cracking even his shell. He did not realize his brothers' screams. The brothers that did not believe in him.

He felt a sting and looked down. Curiously he grabbed for the sword, pulled it out of his body.

It stung. Like a paper cut.


	2. Locked

Prompt: Lock

* * *

"Yo, guys, have you seen Donny around? He promised me he'd help me with this awesome new stunt I've come up with for the hoverboard!"

Mikey was impatiently tapping his foot, the hoverboard stuck under his arm. Raph growled. "Mikey, I swear, if ya don't stop blockin' da TV, Imma use ya hoverboard ta crack yo head!" Mikey let out a girlish scream and jumped behind the couch. Leo, who was sitting next to Raph, chuckled but then his face changed into a serious expression. "Now that you said it, I haven't seen Donny all day. Except for practice this morning." "Same here."

Raph turned off the TV, his face worried. "Ya think he's broodin' in his lab again?" At that Leo smacked his own forehead. "Ah, no, come on! We've just got him to stop that last week!" "Well, den we'll just have ta be a little more convincin' dis time." The second oldest cracked his knuckles and jumped off the couch, but was held back by the eldest. "Hold it, Raph. First we should check if Donny's okay. Maybe something's really bothering him." "Like having such an ugly older brother? Cuz that's something that's been bothering me for a while." Raph growled and threw a punch at Mikey, but the youngest dodged easily, laughing. Leo rolled his eyes.

"Come on, guys."

They made their way over to the second youngest's lab. Before Leo knocked he turned around and faced Raph. "_I'll_ do the talking, alright?" Raph crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Yeah, whatever." Leo nodded and then softly knocked at the lab door.

"Donny? It's me, Leo." No answer. The three brothers exchanged worried glances. Leo knocked once more. "Don? Listen, if anything's bothering you, you know that you can always come to us, right?" Still no answer. "Dude, what's with him?", Mikey asked. "I don't know but I for sure don't like it."

Leo knocked again. "Donatello?" The full name thing usually worked but not this time. The brothers were now not only worried but also growing a little impatient. "Donatello, open up _now_!" No answer. Leo was harshly shoved out of the way by the second oldest. "That's it, I'm goin' in." "Raph, wait-!"

Raph wanted to bash the door open only to find it locked. "What da shell? Donny has never locked da lab door before!" "Donatello!" "Donny?"

Raph started to punch the door as if it were a Purple Dragon. Whatever was going on in there, it was not good. "Don! Open da fuckin' door!" "Donatello, if you don't open this door _this instant_ I'll make you do extra training for weeks!"

"Uh, what are you doing?"

The three brothers froze at the familiar voice, turned around in surprise. In front of them, looking healthier than ever, was standing their genius brother Donatello, his hands full with different broken devices, supposedly from the junkyard. Before any of them could blink, Donatello was tackled to the ground by the youngest.

"Dude! I thought you, like, died in there or something!" "What gave you that idea?" Donny patted Mikey's shell, not comprehending what was going on. "Well, you were nowhere to be found and your lab door was locked so we kinda-" "You kinda overlooked the note I put on the couch table?"

No one said anything to that. Don rolled his eyes and pushed his little brother away, walking over to the couch table. There, he picked up a little note, which he gave his brothers to read.

_I'm at the junkyard, be back soon. – Don_

The two oldest and the youngest glanced at each other, each face shining in a bright red. "Oops." Donny grinned, shaking his head. "And my lab door is locked because I'm hiding your Christmas presents in there. And I know just how curious Mikey gets around the holidays." Mikey scratched the back of his head. The two eldest's eyes were locked to the ground, their cheeks still quite pink. Donny smiled. His brothers were worried about him even though they did not have any reason. It was rather sweet. So, the second youngest walked up to his older brothers and threw his arms around them. Leo and Raph were taken aback by that action.

"Donny?" "Thank you, guys. For caring so much."

Leo and Raph glanced at each other over Donny's head. And started to smile. They gladly returned the hug.

"Hey! I care too! In fact I care the most!" "You goofball." Donny let go of his older brothers and went to hug the youngest. He chuckled triumphantly. When they let go, Mikey poked Donny in the side with his elbow. "Dude, I admit that I didn't look at the table either. But I think with these two-" He pointed at the two eldest, "it's due to their old age." "OLD?"

Donny was grinning now as well. "I think you might be right, Mikey. It seems like their hearing is already getting bad." The youngest started to helplessly laugh their shells of when they saw their older brothers' expressions. The two eldest looked at each other, evil grins forming in their faces. "Tickle punishment?" "The worst they ever had."

The two youngest froze and looked at each other in shock.

"Oh oh." "RUN!"


	3. Poisoned Needles

Prompt: Needle

* * *

He would never admit it, but Donatello hated needles. Not because he was scared of them. With him being the doctor of the family, that would be a quite inconvenient issue. The reason he hated them was because they meant his brothers were severely hurt.

It was ridiculous, he knew that. And he also knew that the needles were a necessity to keep his family from greater damage. But he couldn't help himself, every time an injury required a needle, Donatello's hands quivered. It was upsetting and Donatello cursed himself for his sensitiveness, but there was nothing he could do about it. So, every time one of his brothers' was hurt so badly that Donatello for some reason required a needle, he would hand it to his father. Donatello hated the worried and compassionate looks he earned for doing that, the looks that acknowledged and forgave his failure, the looks that seemed to say _"It's okay, little Donny, it's okay to be weak for you. We don't expect anything else."_

It was pathetic but it was an inner barrier he was not able to surmount.

So, when Master Splinter was lying on the sickbed, in the need of morphine due to the terrible injuries he had received after encountering a bunch of Foot ninja, what was Donatello to do? The syringe was clasped by his shivering fingers and his eyes were helpless as he eyed his father.

"Donatello, my son."

Donatello winced. His father sounded so small, so breakable. He had never heard the elderly rat talk like that before and he hoped he would never have to again. Master Splinter lifted his paw. The fur was sticky with blood. Donatello winced once more when his father softly took his hand in his own.

"I know you are scared. But you have to be strong."

Donatello knew that. He had known from the very moment Master Splinter had dragged himself into the lair. But he what if he could not?

"Donatello."

Don's eyes had filled with tears. He could not do it. He would fail. Don knew he would fail. His whole body was trembling now, the syringe in his hand felt unbearably hot, as if it was filled with lava instead of the alleviating morphine.

Master Splinter sensed his second youngest son's distress and it broke his heart to demand something like that from the gentle turtle. He rubbed his thumb softly over Donatello's hand.

"I believe in you."

Donatello's tremors became more severe, his sight began to swim due to the tears. His heart clenched inside his chest. He felt as if he was on fire, the flames slowly eating away his heart and his soul.

"Donny."

He felt the syringe slowly slip from his hand. He watched as his eldest brother did the job he failed to do. Would always fail to do.

But that was not the worst thing. The worst thing was not his inability to treat his family with needles.

The worst thing was the looks.


	4. Healed Knee

Prompt: Knee

* * *

"Hold still, Mikey!" "Can't! It _hurts_, Donny!" "I can't patch you up if you keep squirming like that!"

Five-year-old Donatello shot his little brother a strict look and then turned his attention back to the bruised knee. The damage was not great, but Donny was mad nonetheless. He winced when a loud "Yer not my boss, Splinter Junior!" "It would be better if I was, you hotheaded bonehead!" filled his ears. Mikey's eyes went dark and sad, his head sunk so Donny could not see his face anymore. The young genius bit his lip, trying to hold back the tears that had started to form.

Mikey had ripped Raph's mask, making the second oldest go berserk, which in turn made Leo go into lecture-mode, not even paying attention to the crying Mikey, but still reproaching Raph to be too hotheaded, leaving Donny alone in calming down the youngest and in the end patching him up, while the two oldest were still throwing insults at each other. It was _ridiculous_.

Donny sighed, furiously wiped his tears away. Leo's and Raph's constant fighting was getting worse day by day. He knew that their differences made it hard for them to get along, but couldn't they at least call it quits when one of them was injured? It was selfish and annoying. And that was not the only thing.

He knew that Mikey was hurting. Leo and Raph were his heroes in some way. The big, mighty and strong heroes that could defeat the monsters under his and Donny's beds, without hesitation and without fear. And watching his heroes fight and hurt each other, each and every day, was breaking the youngest turtle apart. Donny could see. And Donny hated their older brothers for it.

Mikey grimaced in pain and looked up. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. And somehow Donatello felt that it wasn't the pain that made him cry.

"Hey, Mikey. Wanna play our game?" Mikey rubbed his eyes dry. "You mean _What we could do if Leo and Raph weren't fighting all the time_?" Donny nodded and smiled, while pressing a wet cloth to the knee to soothe the wound. "I'll start, okay? Let's see…"

Donny tapped his chin with his free hand. "We could play video games without them arguing who gets the controller first!" "Or if the winner cheated or not!"

Mikey's eyes had lightened up. He loved their game. Donny did, too. For a short time, they could escape their older brothers' constant fighting, immerse into a better world, where they didn't have to hide themselves from harsh words. A world that belonged to them and only them.

Donny chuckled. "Right! And we could watch TV without them fighting over the movie we're gonna watch!" "We could play _Follow the Leader_ and be leader for once, because they wouldn't fight over which one of them would be leader this time!"

Donny had started cleaning and disinfecting Mikey's knee, who did not notice because he was so absorbed in their game. "We could train without Raph provoking Leo and Leo correcting Raph!" "We could play without them dragging us into their fights!" "Raph wouldn't always try and pull you on his side!" "And Leo wouldn't always try and pull you on his side!"

And they both cried in unison: "Because they wouldn't have a reason!" They started laughing, so hard that their bellies started to hurt and tears were streaming down their cheeks, not entirely tears of joy. As they stopped, Donny grinned and pointed at Mikey's now clean and bandaged knee. "All done!" Mikey's eyes widened and he stared at the knee, slightly moving it, discovering no pain. He then looked at Donny and in not even a second, Mikey's small arms were around Donny's neck.

"Thank you, Donny! You're the best big brother ever!"

Donny's eyes widened at these words. He let them sink in, repeated them over and over inside his head, checking if he had heard right. His little heart filled with joy and he hugged his one and only little brother close, closing his eyes, letting his tears run freely.

_Maybe_, he thought, _maybe I can be Mikey's hero, too._


	5. Like Silk

Prompt: Silk

* * *

He knew that it was not love. Not real love at least. He doubted that he could or would ever love someone in that special way she and Casey obviously loved each other. And also, how ridiculous would it be if he would think to have a chance? He was a mutated turtle and apart from that about ten years younger than her. It was impossible to happen. But Donatello did not mind. It was just a stupid crush, he knew that. Nothing serious, nothing too painful. And yet, Don could not get over her beauty.

The flawless white skin, reminding one of the purity of snow. Her eyes, those deep green orbs, which stared right into your soul, making you feel helplessly weak on your legs.

But the thing he loved about her the most was her hair.

Her hair was the first thing he had noticed about her when they had found her in the sewers back then. Those bright, red curls, almost always tied into a ponytail, the few loose strains that framed her angelic face. In some way, April O'Neil's hair reminded Donatello of silk. Soft and delicate.

"Donny? Hey, are you okay?"

He immediately snapped out of his thoughts. April was looking at him with worry in her eyes. Oh shell, did he stare at her?!

Don cleared his throat and tried his most normal smile. "Sorry, April, kinda zoned out there. What was the problem you wanted to ask me about?"

April still looked worried, but she smiled and turned her attention back to explaining Donny the mathematical problem she had stumbled upon. Beside her beauty, April was also an advanced mind, which was refreshing when living in a place filled with rash shell-for-brains. Don listened closely but inwardly, he sighed. He would never admit it to anyone, not even himself, but deep down he wished that there would be a way.

"I see the problem, April. But I think if you would just exchange this fraction with-"

After fifteen more minutes of explaining and trying some other methods, both Donny and April put down their pencils (being perfectionists, it was better for them if they used pencils and not pens) and high-fived.

"And once again we've stopped math from turning us insane." "And I'm sure it won't be the last time."

They laughed and April hugged Donny and kissed him on the cheek. His face immediately resembled a tomato.

"Thanks for your help, Donny, I really appreciate it." "Uh, n-no problem, April, always!" She let go of him and checked her watch. "Oops, so late already? Sorry, Donny, I gotta go, I promised Casey we'd go see that new Action-Splatter-Whatever-Movie." They both laughed but something inside Donny's chest clenched. "Well, have fun, the both of you. Greet the bonehead from me." "Will do! See you around, Donny!"

With that, April packed her stuff and was out of the lair. Donny waved after her and when she was out of sight, he sighed. Then he realized that she had forgotten her book on the desk. Donny was thinking about running after her, but he decided against it. He would give it to her next time.

"Well", Donny whispered to himself as he ran his hand over the book's cover, a vibe of bitterness in his voice, "at least we'll have math."


End file.
